Staying Grounded and Weird through Collective Chaos
when the 5 of Swords comes in and F*CKS SHIT UP
What’s up, swimmers?! Happy almost full moon in Capricorn—the second in a row! Even if you’re not an astrology girlie (gender neutral), let yourself consider what this cosmic moment of repetition could mean for you.
Earlier this week, I pulled my personal card of the day before hopping into the inaugural visioning session for
’s new online writing group Landscapes (which you can also join). I’ve been using The Gay Marseille Tarot by for my daily pulls, which immediately struck me as a deck that would be for me, and only me—no clients, no parties, not even my wife (Sorry, Stacey!). And it’s been very, very good to me while my faith is still a bit shaky; my channel rusty when it comes to reading for myself. It’s gifted me daily, private moments of safety and support.But today, I’m breaking my own rules. I want to share this pull with you because even though it was first-and-foremost for me, it engages with the external world, and therefore has wild, collective resonance.
I pulled the 5 of Swords.
In the guidebook, Charlie writes that the 5 of Swords represents Mental Disruption, Force, Fighting, Cruelty, Pyrrhic Victory—one that is not worth the sacrifices made in battle. They tell us that the 5 of Swords may bring breakthrough, but it “does not come organically from within, as with the 3 of Swords. It comes forcefully from without, shattering perceptions” and “destabiliz[ing] preconceived notions of reality.”
The 5 of Swords was a completely different vibe than the hope I was bringing with me to the visioning session, so I put the card aside and joined the Zoom.
Then, hours later, news broke that Trump had been shot at a rally in Pennsylvania.
Now, I’m not going to sit here and feign shock or upset about those just waking up to the horrors of necropolitics, nor am I going to further ram down your throat how terrifying it is to see people slip deeper and deeper into the cult of far-right fear and control.
Rather, I want to speak to the realities of trying to ground and re-center after the 5 of Swords comes in and fucks shit up, especially when it comes to artists, witches, and other creative, queer spirits. Because, baby, we need all of the peace we can possibly find, and I refuse to allow our victories to be pyrrhic.
We continue to live through nonsensical, chaotic times, which is the antithesis of the flow and focus many of us need to touch in with our most expansive, creative selves.
AND THE WORLD NEEDS OUR MOST EXPANSIVE, CREATIVE SELVES RIGHT NOW TO DREAM UP AND LIVE OUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM THIS HELLSCAPE WE’RE LIVING IN GODDAMMIT
But to do that, we must be wise, discerning, centered, connected, and acting in imaginative faith for the good of all, or at least as many as humanly possible. We cannot stop seeking pleasure and joy. We cannot disappear. We can not let them disappear us. We cannot stay small and meek aka someone who’s promised a future sky kingdom so they do not raise hell in this present earthly one. We must continue to go after what we want. We must love ourselves and each other.
It’s hard, I know. I’m coming atcha as someone who has spent the last few months weathering personal and collective storms by making things harder on myself! I’ve spent my precious time and energy belittling my work and doubting its power and potency! I’ve ruined my own joy, flow and orgasms by saying, this is silly and not worth my time. How could books about numbers or kissing ever change the very real dangers that are circling overhead???
Magical breadcrumb moment — I’ve pulled the 5 of Swords before in my time with The Gay Marseille, but I was shocked to see the phrase in the guidebook because I’d just looked it up after seeing it in a fandom-related context. If you’ve been my inbox pal for a while, you may already know I’m a fanfic junkie, but as I’m hosting a writing workshop next Thursday on mending your relationship to creativity through fanfiction, I’ve been sharing about fandom love more publicly on social media! It’s been nerve-wracking and juicy!
Dear Reader, don’t be like me!!
But if this rings true for you, here’s how to make magic with the rest of July:
Check-in with the cosmic weather, which can lend support to your current selves, but can also help you access a bigger picture — July is ruled by the number 7, The Seeker, The Chariot, The Tower, which brings up themes of questions & analysis, faith & mystery, internal vs. external, evolution through spiritual knowledge. It’s my favorite number, one of deep and sparkling curiosity, like moonlight rippling on the surface of a lake after dark. But its potential pitfalls include confusion, foggy energy, distrust of the unknown, losing oneself down the rabbit hole, spiritual crisis or doubt. This energy will be with us through August too, so be generous with your considerations here!
Get really honest with yourself about what you can and cannot handle — July 2024 is an overall 6 month. Six is the number of The Nurturer. The Lovers. The Devil. It’s a gentle and expansive energy of blossoming and blooming. Six represents the fragile buds of growth, which can be touch and go at times. Remember that breaking and building habits take a lot of time, energy and patience. Take care, and take your time. Slow down. Don’t baby yourself, but do have the little treat. There’s tenderness this month, especially while the Sun is in Cancer. Soften, soften, soften.
Call on your people! Get involved! Be a part of something! — Yes, it’s vulnerable. Yes, it feels awful. Yes, it’s true that even though your people love you, they still might say no or not be available to help. But ask anyway! Call your friend and say you need to talk. Say hi to someone online. Volunteer your time. Join a hobby group. Ask and ye shall receive. But with this seven fog, be clear when making requests for support, especially if feelings are involved! We want to grow, but we’re not always equipped to handle constructive criticism. Our skin is as thick or as thin as it is at any given moment, and you deserve to be met where you are. Train people how to treat you.
Stay curious and creative — Experiment with forms and methods of making • Pray to whoever you pray to • Lean on spiritual supports • If you like to get readings, July is a great month to ask questions and engage in reflective activities that support and promote growth • Pick up a new book that you’ve been meaning to read • Put down a book that hasn’t been tickling your fancy • Finally listen to that lecture that you bought two years ago • Write down your every idea, question, thought, inkling, and don’t tell yourself to take action on anything • Gather, gather, gather
🌟 LOUD, BUT GENTLE, AND FINAL REMINDERS 🌟
HAPPENING LIVE TOMORROW IN LA — Numerology 101: Know Your Numbers! Join me at Open Eye Crystals on Saturday July 20th for a one-hour, salon style teach-in on the basics of Pythagorean Numerology and how to put it into practice in your life.
HAPPENING SUNDAY ON ZOOM — Where the F*ck Am I? (The Road Trip #2). On Sunday July 21st from 9-11am PST, I’m hosting a virtual workshop on various numerological timing techniques to help you figure out exactly where you are on the larger map of your lifetime.